Whenever your thoughts consume you just say no, it’s easier said than done and it probably doesn’t even make sense when you first read it. But it’s something that you train your brain to respond to, just like we train pets to respond to “sit” “catch” etc. Don’t allow something that only exists in your head to ruin your real moments.
Moments & memories
It’s crazy to me how there are memories that you will always remember but never relive. Of course, you’ll create more moments and memories that you might even love more than the old ones. But does it actually sink in though the fact that there are places, people, food, experiences and many things that will only stay in your memory and you will never get to see, try or go to again. There are people and things you thought you can’t live without and that when they aren’t there anymore the hurt won’t stop hurting but it did, you were able to move on from whatever it is you lost. However, when actually thinking that these things are only in your memory and there’s no other living poof for their past existence in your life doesn’t that sting just a little?…
Closure
sometimes the “closure” is you simply forgiving them, forgiving yourself, and accepting the situation for what it is so you can move on. Even if they do decide to give you closure. It might not be when you want it. I feel that the more you yearn for it, the more the universe restricts you from receiving it because the point is to detach from them. To get rid of codependent tendencies. To stop relying on them.
Below the strong exterior
When everyone is used to you being the strong one, you stop being a priority to the people around you, they believe that you can handle yourself. When actually, those people that carry it so well are the ones that need help most cause they’re too scared to ask for help, they think it would ruin the ”strong” exterior that they have but there’s nothing wrong with removing the mask sometimes. It’s not a sign of weakness, you think acting tough and strong will add to your value? or so that you can meet the expectations of being strong. That people set for you when it’s all in your head, there are no “expectations” to be met. Who even gets to decide that you can handle it on your own or not? No one, no one but yourself it’s okay to not be okay which I know sounds cliche but sometimes you have to hear it to realise that you are NOT WEAK for showing how you feel! The thing is cause we dodge those feelings and avoid them they start to come out in different forms, such as unexplained anger or irritation from small irrelevant things the over sensitivity, all of that are just feelings that you accumulated inside of you disguised. That dodging and avoidance of feelings result in us not even knowing how to express ourselves anymore, we just bottle our feelings up till it overflows and it’s just a messed up cycle.
Don’t you wish
Do you ever sit with yourself and just wish you didn’t grow up so fast, or didn’t get exposed to things that forced you to grow up fast, they let you know so much about a world you’re not ready for, it’s like you aged 100 years from this experience that you wish you never had to encounter. Everyone around you thinks oh you’re really mature and wise when really, this is just the trauma, you were forced to be mature and know things most people your age don’t know, or even go through. I know that we all have things going on in our lives some of us though, go through unimaginable stuff. That they can’t even talk about, because no one will understand or mainly cause they don’t really know how to talk about it. They just learned how to dodge those feelings or thoughts till they think they’re gone, but really they’re not they’ll always be there. Then you get lucky for once, you find that one person that makes you feel safe and you let your guard down become so vulnerable. They care and understand even give you credit for how strong you are for going through so much yet you’re still kind and have a smile on your face, well this person sometimes decides to leave with no logical explanation or valid reason. Of course life goes on and it’s not the end of the world, but it kills you. Even though you thought after all that you’ve been through you can’t be hurt again, you thought that you’ve felt all the hurt that could be felt in this world, but then life surprises you with something that you didn’t see coming, to prove to you that you aren’t dead inside after all.
Floating thoughts 